Steve Cracknell's Rugby World Cup 2007 Blog (as text to Eloïse by Crackers)

So... Crackers has taken some of the boys over to France in his van, and has asked me to write a blog that he will text to me.

Attendees are: Steve Cracknell, Rob Gillespie, Keith Mellish, David 'Legs' Flavell, Andy Norgate and Ian Webster (with late straggler of Reno from the 28/09)

Will there be room for all of Mellish's toiletries (if nothing else, please take the nose clippers Keith!)?; Will Webbo buy a drink?; How much is that van, really going to smell?! Find out here...

Wednesday 26th September 2007

We're all set to go... I've realised depsite having the cracking idea of sending you my blog from our travels, I don't actually have your number... And as this is my only means of communication for my blog, can you send it to me please?

Meanwhile... We're all set to go... Mellish is still insisting on taking a camp bed even though he's only staying for 2 nights; Norgate has a double lilo, wonder who he'll get to fill it. Mellish wanted to know if there was room in the van for his teddy!

I'll text you 2morrow, hopefully with news from gay Paris.

Have the boys reached Paris? Will Webbo have bought a drink yet?

Thursday 27th September 2007

We've finally reached Paris. Mellish may have to cry himself to sleep tonight, as he couldn't get his camp bed in the van! Don't worry Mellish, if the alcohol doesn't knock you out, I'm sure the smell in the van will!

Has Webbo bought a drink yet?... No need! Gillie has come to his rescue by managing to become Paris Spoof Champ and cunningly losing every game of spoof! That Gillie's such a kind hearted man!

Everyone awaits the arrival of Reno tomorrow... Especially Gillie, so he can hand over his 'Spoof Champ' crown, and save enough money to feed his family back at home!

Will Gillie keep his crown, or will Reno come straight in and steal it from him? Will Mellish have managed to get any sleep without his camp bed?

Friday 28th September 2007

Still in Paris, and the boys have managed to not be kicked out of anywhere yet! Well done boys! Norgate found someone to share his air bed with... Gillie... Unfortunately, they are still moaning about the leak it seems to have developed!

Webbo seems to think he's on his Saga holidays, especially now they've met up with Keith Whatley (Mill Hill player 1971-2). The boys have also bumped into Smithers brother outside Parc de Prince... And they've still managed not to get thrown out of anywhere!

Friday 28th September 2007 - Update - Text Received @ 21:43

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to Marseille I go...

Will Gillie and Norgate have had a lovers tiff over the leaky air bed? Where is Reno (Gillie is getting desperate)? Will the boys manage to spend the whole time without getting barred from anywhere?!

Saturday 29th September 2007

We're all suffering from excess alcohol last night (well there's a shock!). We've also discovered that the White Van Man in France, doesn't hold quite as much sway as in the UK.

Bumped into small Paul Dickinson under the Eiffel Tower (he says 'Hi!' to everyone). And last night we met Flanders' best mate from Belper... Nuff said!

Will the van make it to Marseille? Will Gillie and Norgate's air bed make it to Marseille? Anything can happen!

Sunday 30th September

Waiting for Ireland to kick off against Argentina. French beer and pastis are still flowing... There appear to be a suspicious smell about the van... Not sure where it's coming from...

Dave is depressed about the Wales' exit, and has spent a fair bit of time weeping into his beer. Webbo ordered duck last night, but sent it back... He must have been quackers, but I think he was worried about the bill... groan... (enter tumbleweed).

Only four of us left now, this is where all that pre-season training will pay dividends...

Gillie and Norgate have left, hopefully they've left the leaky air bed behind. Mellish was pleased to get home to his teddy, and vows never to let it out of his sight again. With only 4 of them left, who will reign as Paris Spoof Champ? How long before the van is condemned?

Monday 1st October 2007

Left Paris at 12pm. Webbo, master navigator, got us to Angouleme... He forgot that it's shut on Mondays!

We stayed in hotel last night, and it was luxury! Gillie and Norgate... Are you jealous?!

Off to Capdenac now... Webbo reckons we'll get there on B roads only... We'll see...

Will the boys make it to Capdenac in one piece? Will there actually be anywhere nice to stay the night on the B Roads? Will the boys ever see the luxury of a hotel again?

Tuesday 2nd October 2007

Bonjour Elsie! C'est Jambes (I heard you're good at French...) Just found out that the campsite at Capdenac is shut, but in the words of Gloria Gaynor... 'We will survive'...

Weather is good... Liver is aching... Webbo has just gone to confession... Hope he gets out in time for the game... C'mon Fiji!! (from Legs xx)

We've arrived in Capdenac... Yes the campsite is shut, but we have the van parked in a car park... Let's hope we don't need to ablute!!

Will Webbo's confession have done any good? Was he confessing about the smell in the van? Will Legs drink enough Stella to block out his memories of the Welsh game? Will anyone need to ablute?!!

Wednesday 3rd October 2007

Looking at the photo of Legs drinking Stella last night, can anyone else see the face in the light behind him?

Last night's accommodation wasn't too bad in the end. The car park was reasonable, with a public toilet close by. The only trouble was that I had to share the roof bed with Legs last night... He's not as still and quiet as Norgate! Tonight's accommodation will be much better... We're staying in the hotel at the top of the picture below, although Webbo is in one of the caves!

I've just managed to get a look into Webbo's wallet... This is what I saw in the bottom:

Will the hotel be as nice as it seems, or would Webbo's cave be preferable? Will Legs and Crackers have to share a bed again? Is Legs being haunted by some random face in a light?!

Thursday 4th October 2007

It's our last day in Capdenac, and we're setting off to Marseille tomorrow. We've had a farewell meal with Mr and Mrs Langer, who were great company.

Webbo appears to do anything he can to get a free drink... Unfortunately, he didn't seem to realise that this free drink was water... Cunningly free of any alcohol content!

There seemed to be much hanging around today... Everyone finding a suitable bench on which to ponder (Legs contemplating invading France, using Gondor as a starting point)... Or just catching some French rays (Keith is the hairy bloke asleep on the bench and Webbo is the hairy bloke asleep on the bench)...

Looking forward to oysters and moules tomorrow!

Thursday 4th October 2007 - Update - Pictures Received @ 18:30 French Time

Legs enoying French hospitality! Yes that is a pair of knickers on his head... And is that a French coq?

Legs and me trying to blend into the background in the underwear bar in capdenac...

Will Webbo find a magical free beer tap in the street? Will the boys be able to catch up on enough sleep before the next England game? Will their livers hold out for the game on Saturday? Will Crackers have to have the knickers surgically removed from his head?

Friday 5th October 2007

On our way to Marseille... A quiet time was had by all in Capdenac las night in Bar Pocahontas, with the local panty sniffer) an old mate of Webbo's). He took a shine to Legs, but it didn't appear to be mutual. Fortunately (mainly for Legs), he had to return to his cave to meet the terms of his ASBO.

Contact made with Roscoe... Will meet up on Sunday.

Will the boys be lucky for England in Marseille? Will they still be happy to meet Roscoe on Sunday, if all doesn't go to plan on Saturday? Hopefully they'll have to make their excuses and stay on an extra week!

Saturday 6th October 2007

Breakfast in Marseille. Home for the next 3 days is a rat infested car park... it's next to the shops and the beach, but the toilets don't open til 09:00... Not sure if I can last.

There are loads of Welsh here... I haven't got the heart to tell them they're out!

Come on England!

Update @ 10:51 French Time

We're back in the car park, after having a quick dip in the sea... Having a little breakfast (mmm is that a bottle of beer/cider I see there?!), and then off to the game.

Update @ 14:12 French Time

Just a quick to prove we saw the game... Come on England!

Update @ 16:59 French Time

Well, that went as well as expected...

Update @ 21:03 French Time

Just come to terms with the England result today... It doesn't get much better than this... Sitting in a bar in Marseille with French and Aussies and trying to be humble winners... Marvellous!

Update @ 22:58 French Time

Allez les blue... England v France in Paris... Tres bon...

Update @ 00:07 French Time

Dave outside rugby club tarrant (Nigel is it yours?)

Update @ 03:00 French Time

Legs at 3am enjoying le spirit de rugby, in a bar in la rue de rugby

Update @ 06:00 French Time

Six in the morning, maybe I should stop celebrating England's win... If I don't get into bed soon, I won't have time for a morning swim in the Med!

Sunday 7th October 2007

Legas has spent the morning contemplating the demise of Wales and the rise of France and England! This may be the last blog as the rat infested car park that is our home, has no charging facilities. Au revoir, see you in Mill Hill!

Update @ 17:23 French Time

England are staying for another week or two. But tomorrow, Mill Hill's coming home, we're coming home... :o)

Monday 8th October 2007

We had a quiet night cheering on the Argies, and are now on our way home... Only 660 miles to go to the Channel!! Must find a rat infested piss smelling car park with no washing facilities, in which to sleep tonight.

Just realised we haven't played spoof for a whole week - must have saved Gillespie a fortune!

Tuesday 9th October 2007

Back in Dover... drinking English beer and eating sweet cure squid... Luxury!

Well what a journey we have been on with Crackers and Friends... We've learnt many a thing... If Gillie is on a losing roll at spoof, be sure to join in... When travelling across France in a van, be sure to drink plenty... Underwear can be worn on your head in bars in France, without you having to be embarrassed... Legs is quite the thinker... Legs is being haunted by a strange face in a light... Crackers knows how to use the camera on his phone.

Hope you all enjoyed the blog. Be sure to congartulate Crackers on his installments every day. And most of all... Come on England!!