Steve Cracknell's Lions Tour 2009 Blog - Off to South Africa (as text to Eloïse by Crackers)

Here it is... the one you've all been waiting for... The Long Awaited... The one and only... Everyone's favourite blogger, goes on tour again... This time Crackers is gracing South Africa with his presence for the 2009 Lions Tour...

Attendees are: Steve Cracknell and Ian Webster

Will Webbo buy a drink this time round? Surely he'll have to... it's so cheap and with only two of them, he's bound to get found out...; Will Crackers and Webbo get so drunk they wake up Shark, a Springbok or a Lion? Find out all here...

Monday 8th June 2009

Well here we go again! Yes once again Crackers and Webbo are going off to far lands, this time we're off to South Africa to see the Lions.

Have the boys reached South Africa without any baggage problems? Will Webbo have found some more friends, making it easier for him to get out of buying a drink?

Tuesday 9th June 2009

Arrived in Johannesburg... No problems so far, apart from the car rental company - They have a car for us, but no keys!! Still, I'm sure they'll get them for us... just now*...

* please see Rose Chaplin for any SA sayings/slang translations...

Will the car company find keys for the boys, or will Webbo and Crackers face having to push the car around Jo'burg (although at least it might ward off the car jackers!)? Will the boys bump into some old friends, like in Paris for the RWC... let's hope so... or I can see magical nights of Crackers getting hammered whilst Webbo falls asleep, ahead of us!!

Wednesday 10th June 2009 @ 07:15

1st day in durban. Sun is out & webbo's got his shorts on. Had our 1st pint of castle last nite and wandered into a bad area! Survived on the advice of one of the locals...

Wednesday 10th June 2009 @ 15:15

Webbo and me in a bar next to ABSA stadium. When we say bar note the security grill, (the bar is open that's the grill to protect the staff)

Wednesday 10th June 2009 @ 16:50

Taking a leek in durban...

Wednesday 10th June 2009 @ 19:08

Met Maunay in his club before the Sharks game (he's Chairman of the club next to Kings Park)

Will Crackers and Webbo make it out of Durban alive, or without getting arrested? Were those two poor Welsh girls, made to have their photo taken with the boys?

Thursday 11th June 2009 @ 09:07

Leaving sunny Durban after a Lions win last night. Had a pint with David Wallace's Mum and Jamie Roberts' Dad last night (injury not going to keep him out of test!)... Flying down to Cape Town, rest day tomorrow!

Will the boys be able to push their car park to the airport ok? Will Crackers and Webbo's rest day mean cutting out alcohol?! Surely not!

Friday 12th June 2009 @ 16:15

Our rest day is here and we're having a quiet pre-match day beer at a bar on the beach. This is our view!

What will happen tomorrow before, during and after the Lions game? Will Crackers and Webbo bump into any more players family members? Has Webbo made a date with David Wallace's Mum and Jamie Roberts' Dad to increase his drinking circle, thus making his odds of buying a beer less? Find out soon, in Crackers' next installment...

Saturday 13th June 2009 @ 15:50

Ugo Monye after the WP game - alright Crackers, you little groupie you!!

Saturday 13th June 2009 @ 16:41

Sheridan off for a pint after the game - I am seriously getting worried about Crackers' stalking tendancies here...

Sunday 14th June 2009 @ 00:02

Sleeping Lions? - The Pride of Mill Hill!

So the boys have managed to see it through their first weekend game... Has Webbo bought a pint yet? Have they met any more players parents? Will they continue to stalk the Lions players?! Who knows... Webbo will probably start, but forget what he's doing part way through... good job Crackers is there to hold the side up!

Monday 15th June 2009 @ 14:40

Arrived in Port Elizabeth. Match not til Tuesday night... Just gonna chill by the sea-pool and drink African beer...

Tuesday 16th June 2009 @ 09:32 (via email - Crackers is going up in the World!!)

To all blog watchers,
Had a relaxing day yesterday, but a rest day does not mean a day off
the beer! The nearest pub to us was 80% Lions supporters, and was
pretty lively last night, but they shut at one so we had an early
night. Webbo's busy ironing his shirt and blazer for todays game, I've
just realised that we're away for 28 days\and I don't have 28 lots of
clothes! Still I've taken Webbo's advice and now have 3 day and 2 day
shirts.
We've got a spare ticket for the first test if anyone wants to get a
flght to Durban and join us.
By the way the welsh girls with the leeks asked to pose with us!
Haven't met any more Lions parents but saw Gareth Chilcott in a petrol
garage and Dewie Morris was in the Pub we were in yesterday.
We met Nick Balaams nephew who used to play for the fourths/fiths when
Webbo was young and fit.
Off to get another big steak and some more Castle beer, (its about a
pound a pint so the more you drink the more you save).
See you all soon and watch this space for more pictures, also see if
you can spot the blazers in the crowd,

Crackers

Tuesday 16th June 2009 @ 16:55

Found ourselves sat beside a bloke from Gloucester who was parked next to us in the caravan park in Marseille (see RWC 07 blog, for details)... Also bumped into Seabrook and Colin the ref from Finchley

Tuesday 16th June 2009 @ 19:09

Mad bar in Port Elizabeth... Not sure if I'll get home early! Trouble is they've run out of Castle!

What will the boys drink now? Will Webbo go crazy on Sambuca, or will he choose to sip the sherry?! Has anyone seen the boys on TV? Will Crackers ever change his pants again?! Does anyone want to risk the spare ticket offer from Crackers?! What on Earth is in this photo... Can anyone actually make it out?!!!!

Wednesday 17th June 2009 @ 10:03

Sitting by the pool relaxing. The pub ran out of beer last night so went onto the red wine (note to self: don't do that again!). Learnt a new version of spoof last night, played without coins (Mellish would love it and still lose!). Going to a vets game tonight... haven't got my kit though...

Wednesday 17th June 2009 @ 20:08

Drinking in Crusaders Rugby Club, after their game against the American Eagles (vets)... Shouldn't have worn my lions shirt, as both teams hate us Brits!!

Wednesday 17th June 2009 @ 20:27 - Special Guest Blogger!!!

Hi.

Greetings from Springbok country; Cape Town or Strand to be particular, about 50km away from the city.

Met two of your slightly more mature players (Steve and Ian), they said they think they have a blog, so I checked, and there it was.

We where at the Lions Western Province game over the weekend at Newlands, Cape Town (2009-06-13). For a change Western Province provided some resistance, unlike the previous games during our season.

Afterwards we went to one of the many local walk distance pubs and met the two mentioned above. Had a few beers (Castle Lagers) together and was swamped with red jerseys. Honestly, I think there were more Lions supporters than the normal local village idiots.

Attached is some of the photo I took. There is more, but quality is as bad, and all you can see is red jerseys.

The two old farts will ten-to-one not remember us, anyway, say hi.

Webbo did offer a round, and I know it’s only 1 pound a drink, it’s the thought that counts.

The Lions tour, or Safari as we labeled it locally is a very big/great occasion for us. Sadly, we always under estimate the northern hemisphere.

At present we have an abundance of  quality game breaker players in almost every position (except flyhalf). So, we are as always overconfident and eager for the first test in Durban .

Regards

Eben Fouché

PS: My regards to the two gentle men, it was a pleasure. And if they are still looking for that local/village pub in the Cape , mail me, there are millions but personally I think the better onces are outside the city.

Wednesday 17th June 2009 @ 21:23

Back in our usual pub in Port Elizabeth. Loads of Lions supporters here... Why do the Welsh wear socks with their sandals?! Answers on a postcard to Crackers.. SA...

Thursday 18th June 2009 @ 22:39

Just a quick update... Drove 12 hours today up to Margate (just south of Durban)... Keep meeting other Lions supporters who remember us! Why?! Surfing tomorrow in Durban! C U all at the test...

Thursday 18th June 2009 @ 23:07

Just remembered, saw some wildlife today... Zebras, giraffe, warthog and kudu. Also saw 6 dead dogs, a dead horse and an overturned lorry (the roads aren't that good here). New song... What's that coming over the hill? Is it a Moyne?

Friday 19th June 2009 @ 09:39

Webbo watching the sea at Margate (can't see the similarity with the one in Kent)

Saturday 20th June 2009 @ 10:21

Visited by monkeys today... Looks like one of them's got hold of Webbo's mobile...

Saturday 20th June 2009 @ 12:53

Mill meets Mick Galway! and Lions drink with Zulu Warriors

Saturday 20th June 2009 @ 17:37

Tom Maison wins the 'I spotted Crackers prize' and I'll bring him something back from SA... not Tom, not the blonde next to me!

Monday 22nd June 2009 @ 15:42

Made it back to Cape Town in one piece after 2 days driving...Got onto the N1 and the satnav said go straight on next roundabout 333 miles! Next instruction, keep right at next junction 235 miles! It's one straight road across the Karoo desert! Just chilling now til game tomorrow... It's cold and raining so should suit the Lions!

Monday 22nd June 2009 @ 21:33

Having a drink in... where else?... Dubliners, Cape Town! Traditional Afro-Irish beer and music!

Tuesday 23rd June 2009 @ 21:41

In the Springbok Bar in Newlands. A draw is not a loss! Webbo meets a famous Cape Town DJ, Ian Ward of Goodhope FM

Tuesday 23rd June 2009 @ 22:03

In the Springbok bar in Newlands. Met the Captain of GG's old club in Wales... Sounds like One Eye Lid!!

Friday 26th June 2009 @ 16:42

Tour party now up to four. Bob Meek and Crackers Jnr. joined up in the last 24 hours. We're now preparing for the 2nd test tomorrow!

Saturday 27th June 2009 @ 09:30

Mill Hill are ready for the 2ns test... blazers and all! All the Lions supporters outside Loftus Road... none look as good as our Mill boys though! ;o)

Saturday 27th June 2009 @ 15:59

Aaaaaaarggh!!!

Saturday 27th June 2009 @ 17:15

Not only did the Lions lose, but I am wearing my last pair of clean pants... But beers only 1.20 a pint, so it's not all bad!

Monday 29th June 2009 @ 11:40

Just been canoeing on the river in Botswana... Only had 3 canoes so Webbo and I shared... I assured him it would be ok for 2... I was wrong... Within a metre of the bank, we capsized! Luckily the crocodiles are inactive this time of year!!

Monday 29th June 2009 @ 14:32

Went out on the river on an electric powered raft... battery died... had to drift downstream until we hit the bank! Then trek through the bush and fetch 2 canoes and tow the raft, Webbo and Bob, back upstream home...

Friday 3rd July 2009 @ 13:55

Got a signal now we're back in civilisation, after our safari... Pretty tired as elephants decided to remove 3 trees a few metres away from our tent!

Saturday 4th July 2009 @ 16:29

At last we won a test! Quiet night in and a visit to the art gallery before we fly home...

Saturday 4th July 2009 @ 17:07

Yet again we bump into a mate of Flanders' from Belper... See France 2007 blog for comments...